It has been a whooping month. Time passes by so quickly when there seems to be endless things to do.
It's hard to decipher a situation when you are in it. It's like a hamster running in the wheels and not able to detect any possible dangers coming from the environment. Being too fixated on one thing is good to a certain extent but the question is, "is this sustainable in the long run? Is there any chances of burning out? Will this last?"
I felt like I was that hamster running in my own wheels when someone asked me about the sustainability in the long run.
It puts a question mark in my mind and keeps me awake at night (morning for now).
I ponder over the word "sustainable" and wonder if what could be done better.
In order to understand how I could reverse things around, I went to check the definition of sustainability.
Usually this word is used in the environmental aspect.
The UN has defined the word "sustainability" in simpler terms: meeting the needs of the present without compromising the needs of the future generations."
When applying to relationships, it simply refers to the ability to not suffer a burnt out from the relationship and having the core terms to follow through.
The art of balancing one's needs and not forgetting to serve another person is the key to sustaining any relationship. The core part of having sustainability is the allowance of space, time for rest and having strong core beliefs together.
As a research geek, I decided to dive in deeper to the godly ways to sustain a healthy relationship with the significant other. I'm thankful that we could still hang onto the One who knows everything. It's really the core focus of the relationship. I'm glad we could fall back to Him when all things fall apart. I was trying to find a quote to share with a fellow sister in church and was thankful to be encouraged at the same time. The quote ministered to me as it was really on point. I cannot remember the exact words but the context of the quote was a truth that one can forget when we became too engrossed with the daily living in this chaotic world. When we fall short of grace and have nothing much left to offer, it's really important that we turn back to the One who created us.
Although sometimes having the conscious awareness of the truth behind the sustainability of something is quite terrifying and unpleasing, it deemed to be the best route to take to prevent a burnt out.
Some questions that pop up in my mind was, "how will this last for the long run?"
Asking very practical questions do help as it brings us back to reality and pulls us to focus on the hard truth that resources do get depleted over time if it wasn't well taken care of. Our Mother Earth for instance, is a classic example of depleted resource.
So I went into looking up for tips to sustain a Godly relationship that is healthy for the long run. It's like running a marathon. There are certain tactics to follow through so that it's possible to complete the run without compromising one's general wellness.
According to the online article, it was said that there were actually 7 things healthy couples do in a Godly relationship. (VanSparrentak, 2021.)
Two of which stood out for me.
1. Having open communication
2. Mentorship from couples who are in their later life stages and still together
It rings a bell for me when I think about having someone older and more experienced to walk with us so that we are reminded of the constant need to remember not to over stretch ourselves to sustain a relationship. Often times, we would do all that we can at the start to make things work but question is will it lead to a lasting connection or just a short period of time? I wouldn't want to have a "honeymoon period" and be exhausted at the end of the period to find out that I was actually living in that fairytale bubble that did not co-exist with my reality.
I guess nobody would love to live in that fiction state of life. The art of having a healthy relationship that could pull through all the ups and downs in life is having the balance of not burning out yet at the same time able to serve one another in the relationship. Even in my late twenties and after going through many life ordeals, I have to be honest that I am still trying to pick up a strategy for this aspect of my life.
I like to have my own ideals of a relationship, to live in fantasies from time to time. But recent encounters have pulled me out of my own bubble and to face the reality as it is - square and black, not very nice. When the bubble gets popped, it's not as pleasant as it seems. Fortunately, we could still hang onto the Word of God and also to have frequent prayers every now and then.
Although now it still feels really uncertain and overwhelming, I still have the faith in The One who has brought us together for a reason. I trust that He can bring us through. He has done it once and He shall do it again.
XXX
Sharing a nice song that I have heard from the recent sermons. I hope that my post speaks to you and brings some enlightenment if we happen to have the similar perspective with regards to sustainability in relationships.
I wish you well and have a blessed week ahead!
Lyrics:
Same God Song by Elevation Worship
I'm calling on the God of Jacob
Whose love endures through generations
I know that You will keep Your covenant
I'm calling on the God of Moses
The one who opened up the ocean
I need You now to do the same thing for me
For me, for me
O God, my God, I need You
O God, my God, I need You now
How I need You now
O Rock, O Rock of ages
I'm standing on Your faithfulness
On Your faithfulness
I'm calling on the God of Mary
Whose favor rests upon the lowly
I know with You all things are possible
I'm calling on the God of David
Who made a shepherd boy courageous
I may not face Goliath
But I've got my own giants
O God, my God, I need You
O God, my God, I need You now
How I need You now, yes
O Rock, O Rock of ages
I'm standing on Your faithfulness
On Your faithfulness
O God, my God, I need You (I need You Lord)
O God, my God, I need You now
How I need You now, yeah
O Rock, O Rock of ages
I'm standing on Your faithfulness
On Your faithfulness
It's your faithfulness I'm standin' on
Never changes, never changes
You heard Your children then
You hear Your children now
You are the same God
You are the same God
You answered prayers back then
And You will answer now
You are the same God
You are the same God
You were providing then
You are providing now
You are the same God (You are the same)
You are the same God
You moved in power then
God, move in power now
You are the same God
You are the same God
You were a healer then
You are a healer now
You are the same God
You are the same God
You were a savior then
You are a savior now
You are the same God
You are the same God
O God, my God, I need You (lift it up)
O God, my God, I need You now (how we need You now)
How I need You now (we stand in faithfulness)
O Rock, O Rock of ages
I'm standing on Your faithfulness
Oh, on Your faithfulness
O God, my God, I need You
O God, my God, I need You now
How I need You now (oh-oh)
O Rock, O Rock of ages
I'm standing on Your faithfulness
On Your faithfulness
On Your faithfulness, God
You're faithful God
Jesus, You're the same
Yesterday, today, and forever
You're the same God (yes, You are)
You're the same God
This is who we worship tonight, yeah
He's the same, He's the same, oh God
How I need You, yeah
How I need You, yeah
You freed the captives then
You're freeing hearts right now
You are the same God
You are the same God
You touched the lepers then
I feel Your touch right now
You are the same God
You are the same God
Never changing
Oh, forever
We feel You now
You're the same God
You're the same God, yeah
How we need You now, yeah
I'm calling on the Holy Spirit
Almighty River, come and fill me again
(Let that be your prayer tonight)
Come and fill me again
(Come and fill me)
Come and fill me again
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